Jobs are for Subhumans
by Bamboofoxfire Productions
Summary: It was just a simple game that blew off the left wing of the mansion, but Lord Millennium would surely forgive me, right? After all, it was a simple accident. So how could he punish me by making me get a JOB? Job's are for sub-humans...
1. Explosions and Punishment

**Authors Note:** Hello! Kou here again! And yay for my seventh story on this site! This randomly came to mind when I was at Junpaku's house and we were playing _White Knight Chronicles_ and decided randomly to make Road as our character and were pretending it was 'if she had to get a job' and eventually it turned into 'Road had to get a job because the Earl was punishing her for destroying the house' which inspired this Fanfiction XD So this will mostly be a comedy thing. Anyway, enjoy!

Summary: It had just been a simple game that blew off the left wing of the Noah's Family mansion, nothing too big or serious. Lord Millennium would surely forgive her with ease, right? Then how could he possibly force her to pay off the damage by getting a JOB? Jobs are for sub-humans…

**Warning:** Road sadistic-ness.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own D Gray-man! I'm too lazy to make if funny right now...

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**Job's are for Sub-humans  
****A D Gray-man Fanfiction  
By: Kougetsu_KitsuneHinote_Hakuma**

**Chapter 1: **Explosions and Punishment

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"_Jasdero, Debitto. Lord Millennium took Lero with him and I'm REAALLLY bored! Will you please play with me~?"_

Those were the words that sealed my fate for the next two months, but I couldn't help it. Any time that I wasn't helping Lord Millennium with his goals of purifying the world of all the filthy sub-humans, I was stuck by myself at the mansion, or even worse, forced to go to _school_! The very thought makes me shudder, which is an accomplishment. Not much gets to me. After all, I'm the eldest Noah and have lived longer than any humans can ever claim to have lived. Almost nothing affects me like that. So you know it must be bad if it makes me shudder.

Of course I can easily convince every other Noah and even Lord Millennium himself to 'help' me do my homework. Even though more than half of them are completely useless at it. But getting back to my dilemma, even I, the oldest of the Noah Family besides Lord Millennium can get easily bored. And with everyone else away, except for Skin and the Twins, I was _incredibly _bored. Skin was never any fun to play with so that left my usual tormentee's, Jasdero and Debitto.

Both looked like they'd rather tie a boulder to themselves and throw it into the deepest lake on the planet, but they didn't dare say no. Because I would make my 'game' so much worse…I mean…more 'fun', if they did. So they both gulped, exchanged a wide-eyes glance, and nodded. The game hadn't even started and they already looked like frightened rabbits. This would be so _fun_.

Giving them my most innocent, well-practiced smile, I held up three fingers.

"Three seconds." I said. They didn't need me to elaborate further and the two literally jumped up from their chairs, bolting out the door as I begun my count down. Of course, I had already started skipping after them. The count down was for when I was going to summon my candles, not for when I would begin my chase.

"O-ne~! T-wo~!" I rang in a sing-song voice, skipping along down the hall. I stopped as I found the two at a dead end, a sadistic grin creeping along my face. "_Three_." The two shrieked loudly in fear as a barrage of candles appeared and flew forward, managing to slice and graze past their flesh. But that's okay. They're Noah's after all. Much more durable than lowly sub-humans which means I get to have more fun with them.

The two darted back toward me. Though fear showed clearly on their faces they were determined to make it past me. But where would be the fun in letting them go willingly? I simply smiled at them devilishly and flicked my finger up, summoning another wall of candles and sent them toward the two. They didn't stand a chance.

They both screeched in pain and fell back and for a moment I felt a shred of guilt. After all, they were still family. But then I remember again that they're Noah's, that they'll recover in a few seconds, and how _bored_ I was. Thinking on all these things, I find it easy to forgive myself for this temporary act of cruelty…I mean…'play', and give them a moment to sit up again and try to flee. Apparently the thought of escape has left their brains and they turn a pair of nasty glares in my direction. Now what exactly did I do to deserve that?

The both stand up and I feel that the tables have turned a little. They don't look frightened rabbits bolting for cover. More like a pair of cornered tigers. Very _pissed_ tigers.

"No. More. Games!" Debitto snarls, holding up his golden pistol. Jasdero mimics his movements perfectly and I purr in amusement and interest. So they want to fight back, do they? Fine, this just makes it more interesting.

"No more games, hee!" Jasdero screeches. I merely smile and summon up another wave of candles. The fact that they've decided to fight back does nothing to deter me. If anything it only helps alleviate my boredom.

"Bye-bye~" I purr in an innocent tone, sending the candles flying. Both Jasdero and Debitto fire their guns in that instant and the hall explodes. I must admit I did not expect that. The explosion is large enough that it throws all three of us back and I faintly feel a tingling on my skin. Of course the damage is much more to my body but it regenerates to perfection within seconds and I sit up.

The twins are a bit more worse for wear but still otherwise fine. To a Noah, that is nothing. Of course, the house isn't so lucky as the ceiling gives way to open, blue sky and the walls are scorched black. I absently touch my finger to my lip.

"Uh-oh…" I utter. Lord Millennium will not be happy. But then I'm like his 'perfect little girl'. All I need to do is bat my lashes with my famous puppy-eyes and charm my way out of it. Then all would be well.

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"A _Job_?" I screeched, so loud that it caused Lero to topple from the air and Tyki to nearly choke on his cigarette as he was lighting it. "How could you possibly make me get a _job_?" Lord Millennium cringed at the high pitch and took a moment to plug his pointy ears, to keep himself from possibly going deaf. After I stopped screaming he clasped his hands behind his back, still holding that perpetually large grin that I normally loved. Right now I absolutely hated it.

"Well, Rodo…thanks to your 'game', a good portion of the mansion has been blown away. And it will take a considerable amount of money to repair it…" Money? This was about _money_? It wasn't as though we were poor!

"But Lord Millennium, we have plenty of money to fix it!" I whined. Why was there any need for me to get a _job_?

"Yes, Rodo…but I've talked to Sherril and your mother and we've all agreed that you need to learn your lesson. So, _you_ are going to earn the money to pay for this."

"But it was Jasdero and Debitto's stupid guns that caused the explosion!" I argued hopelessly.

"But it was your game that started all this." Lord Millennium reasoned casually.

"But…but…" I growled in frustration. "You're punishing my by making me get a _job_, though! Jobs are for sub-humans! _Poor_ sub-humans!"

"Exactly. That's why this is punishment." Lord Millennium argued before holding up his hand to stop any further arguments. "Now I won't hear any more arguing, Road. You are going to get a job."

My life as I knew it was officially _over_.

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**Authors Note:** **REVIEW!**

~Kou**  
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	2. Jobs and Drunkards

**Authors Note:** Kou's back with another new chapter, huzzah! –shot-

Anyway, because apparently my twin, Junpaku wanted to do Job's are for Sub-human together(forgot) he's actually going to write his own instead, though I'm not sure when it will be up… So, if you enjoy this story, please go to Junpaku's profile(the link is on my profile page. You can't miss it) and read his version!

Thanks go out to _zenophobiaz_, _Your_Misery-MY_joy_, _Allen_the_Musician_, and _P3paula_ for their reviews!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own D Gray-man. If I had, Road would not exist, and no one would be able to enjoy her loli-sadism as we all do. At least…I know I do….heh heh…. Hah… !

You saw nothing! –hides-

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**Job's are for Sub-humans  
****A D Gray-Man Fanfiction  
****By: Kougetsu_KitsuneHinote_Hakuma**

**Chapter 2:** Jobs and Drunkards

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The twins were _so_ dead next time I saw them, family or not.

I sighed to myself dejectedly as I stood in front of the town tavern, with a large wood sign hanging over the door that read '_The Golden Mare Tavern'_. Seriously, where did people come up with these names? I would've named it something much more sensible and accurate, like the _'Pretty Doll'_ or _'Drunkard's Tavern'_. After all, most of what went on in taverns was drinking and prostitution, and then there was your occasional passersby that just needed a room, but that was rarely all people did there.

From the sounds of it, this was the best paying place in this town, which Lord Millennium had said was where I had to find my job. He could have picked anywhere but _nooooooooo_. He had to pick slum-ville in the middle of freakin' _nowhere_ with nothing to do except work all day, drink, or whore around. No wonder this was the biggest money-maker in this crummy place.

_Why me?_ I mentally whined. Taking a deep, dejected breath, I stepped inside and was immediately hit by the strong odor of alcohol. And not just any alcohol. The _cheap_ crap that tastes as God awful as it smells. Basically anything and everything in the way of beer that a street bum could buy with his pocket change.

A good portion of the men who still had their wits turned and eyed me in ways that disgusted me. I was very tempted to summon my candles and end all their miserable existences right then and there. I really was. However, I would _never_ get any money by slaughtering everyone willing to pay for booze so I walked over to the counter, where a tall man was polishing a glass with his back turned. He was your average joe-shmoe, a build that wasn't fat but not skinny either, some muscle from hauling beer barrels, heavy crates, and other such things around his building. He had some facial hair that was more like a morning-shadow and a slight mustache, his hair concealed under a wool cap.

"Excuse me." I chimed, resting my arms on the counter. The man turned and regarded me calmly. I could tell he thought I didn't belong here, and he was right.

"This is no place for a little lady like yerself." He stated.

'_I know, but it's not like I have much of a choice!'_ I silently wailed. Putting on my best performing mask and my innocent tone I asked, "I heard that I might be able to get a job here?" He quirked a brow at me. Obviously he noticed I wasn't dressed like any little-town girl, more like the nobility that I was.

"I only hire people who are older, mostly men. This place is pretty rough, y'know. I suggest finding a much more…suitable job." He said, trying to let me down lightly.

"But you pay the best in town." I countered. He set down the glass he'd been shining and leaned over, resting one elbow on the counter and staring into my eyes levelly. I noticed he had something of a lazy eye going on.

"And why would someone like yerself need a lot of money?" He asked. Looking me up and down he added, "You look well enough to do to me."

Darn, he was actually smart. For a sub-human, anyway.

I thought quickly, trying to come up with a good reason. I don't think he'd take me seriously if I told him I'd blown up half a mansion with candles and was being punished by having to get a job. That or he'd think I was completely insane, maybe even think I'd blow up _his_ shop.

And with the company this place kept up, he might not have been too far off.

"My…my mother! She's very sick, and the medical bills are expensive." I lied carefully. "I want to help pay for some of it so she can get better." The man eyed me for a moment, sympathy creeping into his features for a moment. Sub-human's were so easy to fool with such a lie. In some cases, it was actually commendable, even if I still thought all sub-humans needed to die. Which I did. He straightened up and scratched his head with a sigh, seemingly torn between refusing and letting me work there.

"Alright." He finally agreed. "I s'pose you could help me in the back with boxes and stock, maybe do a bit of cleaning…"

'_This sucks…'_ I mentally sighed. Then again it could be worse. I could have to serve drinks to a bunch of pedophiles and get lusty stares all day long from the lowest of the low sub-humans. _'Disgusting worms.'_

"Thank you very much." I told him, making myself seem elated to hear it. Inside, I wanted to scream and murder everyone here until their filthy blood covered every inch of this place.

_And Lord Millennium told all the Akuma to stop listening to my orders until my punishment is over…_ I sighed. The man led me to the back room.

"First, you'll need some clothes that can get dirty and beat up. Those aren't fit for work." He told me, indicating towards my blouse and skirt. He found me an old t-shirt and thick-cloth jeans, which were very uncomfortable. I personally didn't like pants, I preferred skirts and dresses. For one, it was more classy for a woman or girl of nobility, not to mention pants were more uncomfortable and restricting. More importantly, though, I just flat out looked good in them.

I grimaced and tugged at the hard fabric uncertainly. Lord Millennium certainly knew how to punish me, since at the moment I couldn't think of anything worse to do.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to 'em." The man assured.

'_Yeah right…'_ I shot back in my head.

"Well if y'don't mind, you can start right away." He said.

"Certainly, what can I do?" I asked in a chipper voice, the complete opposite of how I felt.

"Nothin' too big, I just need ya to look through these crates here…" He indicated to a large stack in one corner of the room. "…and write down how much there is of everythin'. After that perhaps a bit of moppin'. This back room gets awfully dirty." Obviously he wanted to see how much I could handle doing, which didn't really matter since I had to find a job and get this all over with, even if I absolutely hated it. "Th' clipboard with the list of everythin' is there." He indicated to a clipboard hanging from a nail in one of the wall beams.

Nodding to me curtly, he turned back towards the bar as a few men hollered for service. I sighed and walked over, plucking it off it's hanger and gave the pants another uncomfortable tug.

'_Better get this started…'_

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**Author's Note(2):** Another chapter finished. Not as exciting or funny as the last but trust me, I have plenty of future comedy etc. planned so keep reading! And for the love of all that is holy(like Road's loli-sadism fufufu…) please **REVIEW!**

~Kou


	3. AN: Notice

**A/N:** Hey all my loyal readers. I regret to tell you guys that I won't be working on any of my fanfictions for some time, as I'm very busy with college classes, work, and the part that some of you might be most interested in, a book that I hope to publish this summer. I'm sure if you have me on your watch lists and read my works already, then you may be very much interested in this bit of information.

If you aren't, feel free to ignore this. If you are though, I've already written three completed chapters and am working on more as the day's go by. You can find it on Fictionpress, my account name being the same as on here(Bamboofoxfire Productions, I've changed it recently from my old one listed on my fanfictions you might notice)

Anyway, the book I'm working on is called The Crow's Nest. Look forward to hearing from some of you and would love any and all constructive criticism, critique's, or just regular old compliments and comments.

Please and Thankyou! And sorry that I can't update the fanfictions you've all come to love. I'll probably get back to them eventually, but for now my focus is on other things that I really need to get done.

~The Great Me


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